2 boys, or not 2 boys: that is the question

So here's the predicament, with the news that the twins will be identical, the likelihood of them being 1 boy and 1 girl are slim, or in the words of our doctor, "1 in 1000". Why is this a predicament? Good question... here's my attempt to explain:

We already have 1 son, Michael, who is absolutely, unequivocally, ALL BOY! And a joy of a boy at that! But as I scan the memory bank of Michael's infant days, I wonder what it will be like if the twins turn out to be boys... Not only will the addition make the genetic makeup of our family completely lopsided (4 to 1 in favor of testosterone), I'm wondering, "Will I be able to keep my sanity over the next couple years"? All I can think of is memories of being abruptly woken out of a deep (and usually much needed) sleep, by some blunt object being continuously whacked on my forehead, filled with the initial rush of homicidal adrenaline, only to be calmed as my eyes open and focus in on a curious, grinning 6 month old hovering over my face with a toy hammer in hand. Its memories like seeing the 1 year old hazardously prance thru the bedrooms and hallways with an entire diaper's worth of poop smeared on the walls and carpets, clumped in the crevices of his fingernails, with chunks in either hand. Or the infatuation of greeting you over and over again with headbutts, whether under the cover of darkness or at full speed ahead in broad daylight... and all this by himself... what will it be like with two? A partnership of terror, as my friend would say "From the womb to the tomb...", co-conspirators from conception... ALL BOY SQUARED!

But on the other hand... what if they're girls? I've never raised a girl before, much less two at once... I don't anticipate the first few years to be so bad... but what about afterward, will I be able to keep my sanity then... and if so, what about their teenage years, will I be able to stay out of prison? I can see it all now, in 15 years or so, unemployed, posted up in the front yard, unmovable, sawed off double-barrel shotgun fully loaded, lying in wait, ready to make an example out of the first 17 year old punk to pull up to the house in chase of one (if not both) of my daughters... and don't think I won't, we fellas all know the infatuation that exists inside of dudes when it comes to twin girls... hmm... now that I think about it, sawed off double barrel shotgun sounds too merciful, I'll need to send a clear message to all subsequent pursuers, I'm thinking more 15th century, medieval torture device, something to lengthen the dying experience, something that will make national headlines... yea, then the word will get out. Or maybe I won't kill him, maybe I'll just surgically remove his arms and legs, 1 lung, 1 ear, both eyes, tongue, and sew the corners of his lips shut, so he'll be able to share his story with all who ask, but with great difficulty.

Whoa... I'm getting a little off track, but you get the picture, its like "Pick your poison dave" except I don't have any say in the matter... Will I see my ultimate demise in the form of 2 boys or 2 girls...? Maybe, just maybe, we'll crack those daunting 1 in 1000 odds and have an identical boy and girl... yea, i like the sound of that... balance... Then I won't have to worry about going to prison for attempted 1st degree manslaughter, kidnapping and torture because my 1 and only daughter will have her twin brother to look out for her, and an older brother to back her twin brother up. They can carry out all my dirty work... I like the sound of that. But 1 in 1000? Is it feasible? Well, I'm hopeful... after all, we've already beat the odds once, the odds of having twins at all is an estimated 31/1000, i'll take those odds.